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" Goof!" What, birthday ends in Y!" Aw, that's perfect! You always know what to get me." You're easy to buy for."Pause."I have got to be the luckiest man alive." How do you figure?" Well, I have a wife whom I love madly, and who loves me madly back, and..." ... and?" And ... I'm most likely the only guy in the world who gets to do this with you." No most likely about it." Why is that anyway?" Well, you're the only guy in the world who loves me." There's a laugh! Ninety per cent of Edmonton's male population would give their right testicles, and their grandmothers, just to enter a lottery to be where I am right now. And twenty per cent of the females." Goof back!" You're right, that doesn't quite work does it? The females don't have testicles. They could give their right ovaries then." That isn't love." Maybe not, but it's still true. Hey, what about your Dad?" I haven't sat in his lap since I was ten." Triple goof! He loves you, is what I meant." I guess I don't count my Dad as a. “What is he up to now?” was the first thought that crossed my mind. And how long had those screws been there without me noticing? I stepped into the bedroom and sat across from my husband and just stared at him. He looked at me with pure innocence as he had no idea what I had just seen. “So when did you put those screws up above the bathroom door and what are they for?” I asked him. He looked back at me, giving me a sly grin before answering. “About a week ago and you’ll find out soon enough” he said, still smiling. I had already seen the piles of cut wood that he had brought home from the home improvement store a week ago and thought I had figured those out already. We had recently talked about how it would be so much better having sex standing up if I was just 5 or 6” taller. He is 6’4” and I am a mere 5’2”, so it has always put a little strain on both of us in the past. Unfortunately, our schedules had not allowed much time for fun, so I guessed that was why we had not tested it.
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